Chapter Content
Okay, so, living according to your values...yeah, it's something I've been thinking about a lot lately. I mean, what are your core values, right? It's a good question. I've never really, like, written them all down in a neat little list, but I can definitely tell you a few things that are super important to me.
First off, honesty. That's gotta be like, number one. But I'm not just talking about, you know, not telling lies. I'm talking about being authentically yourself. Being real. You know, there are some situations where you have to, like, watch what you say, or you have to be super careful around certain people. I just... I don't want to be in those situations. I don't want to be around those people. I mean, if I have to think one thing and say another? My brain just starts going crazy trying to, like, juggle all that information. And then I can't even be present in the moment, because I'm either regretting something I said or planning what I'm going to say next. Ugh. No thanks. I just wanna be around people where I can say what I mean and mean what I say. That's it.
Because here's the thing, you can't lie to other people without lying to yourself first, right?
And another, like, really basic value for me is...I just can't stand short-term thinking. Or short-term deals. If a business partner is, you know, only focused on making a quick buck, I'm out. I just don't want to be involved. I mean, everything in life, whether it's money, relationships, love, health, activities, habits...everything good comes from compound interest, right? It's the long game. So I just want to choose people and things that are worth investing in for the long haul. Things that will pay off down the road.
Oh, and another one is, I'm all about equality. Like, flat relationships, not hierarchical ones. I don't want to be above anybody, and I don't want to be below anybody. If we can't treat each other as equals, then, yeah, I probably don't want to hang out with you.
And you know what else? This might sound a little weird, but I really think anger is pointless. Like, I used to think it was a good thing when I was younger, you know, like it was a sign of strength or something. But now? I really like that Buddhist saying about how, like, holding onto anger is like grabbing a hot coal to throw at someone else. You're just going to burn yourself. So, yeah, I don't want to be angry, and I don't want to be around angry people. I've, you know, kind of consciously removed them from my life. And I'm not judging them, you know? I've been angry myself, plenty of times. It's just something they have to deal with on their own. Go be angry somewhere else, just don't bring it around me.
I don't even know if these things are technically "values," in the traditional sense, but these are the things I just won't compromise on. These are the things that guide my life. And I really think everyone has their own set of values. And if you want to have good relationships, good colleagues, a good partner, a good wife, a good husband...you need to find people who share your values. I mean, if you agree on the important stuff, everything else just kind of falls into place. Because I've found that if people are constantly fighting or arguing, or even worse, it's usually because their values are just completely different. When your values align, all the little things, the day-to-day stuff? It just doesn't matter so much.
My wife and I...we went through a lot at the beginning. I really, really wanted to be with her, but she wasn't so sure. And ultimately, we ended up together because she saw my values. And I'm so grateful that I already had those values at the time, because if I didn't, I honestly don't think I would have deserved her, you know? As Charlie Munger says, you have to be a good partner to get a good partner. And she's really amazing.
She values family, and so do I. That's one of the basic values that, you know, holds us together. And it's so important.
Having kids... totally changes you. Like, the moment you have kids, all those big questions like, "What's the meaning of life?" or "What's my purpose?" They suddenly have an answer. It's kind of magical. Suddenly, the most important thing in the universe shifts from you to them. And that changes everything. Your values become inherently less selfish. Yeah, it's pretty wild.