Chapter Content
Okay, so the whole thing about, like, choosing to, uh, shape yourself, right? I mean, it's all about the fact that the most incredible superpower, and I really think it is, is the ability to actually change yourself.
And you know, we all make mistakes, right? So, what's, like, the biggest mistake you've ever made? And more importantly, how did you, like, actually get over it? I've made tons of mistakes, believe me. And the way I usually deal with them is, well, I just kind of reflect and, you know, try to learn from them. A lot of these mistakes, they were almost, you know, unavoidable at that age. You just don't see them coming, you know? Only in hindsight do they, like, really pop out.
So, to kind of move past them, I ask myself, "Okay, what advice would, say, a 30-year-old version of myself give to my 20-year-old self?" Or, "What would a 40-year-old me tell my 30-year-old me?" And if you're younger, you could, like, do it in five-year increments, you know? I kind of sit down and really think about what I was doing and feeling each year. It's like, “Okay, what was I doing, how did I feel?”
Life, you know, it's a journey. Sometimes it's smooth sailing, sometimes it's a total rollercoaster. But life just kind of keeps going, you know? And how you experience it, it's really all about how you interpret it. We're born with all these senses and emotions, and then, well, we eventually pass on. How you interpret everything that happens to you, that's totally up to you. Everyone's got their own take.
Honestly, if I could, like, do it all again, I probably would make the same choices, you know? But I'd really hope that I could control my emotions a bit better, be more tolerant, more calm, and, you know, less angry. Like, I remember this one time, back when I was younger, and a lot of people know about this, I started this really successful company, but I didn't get paid what I deserved. So, I sued some people, and, well, things pretty much worked out in the end, I got what I wanted, but man, I was so stressed out and angry during the whole thing.
If it happened today, I just wouldn't let myself get so consumed by that anger. I'd probably just talk to them directly. "Hey, this is what's happening, this is what I'm going to do. This is fair, this isn't."
I'd realize that getting all worked up and emotional, it brings on totally unnecessary consequences. Even now, I still stand up for what I think is right, but I've learned from the past, you know? I try to take the long view and dial down the anger. If you can just look at things from a cooler, longer-term perspective, a lot of things just aren't really problems at all.
So, like, again, habits, they're everything. They drive everything we do, how we think. Some habits, they're ingrained really early on, you know? Like when you're supposed to go to the bathroom, when you're allowed to cry, or laugh. And so we just develop all these habits, and they just become part of us over time through learning.
By the time we're adults, we've got, like, thousands and thousands of habits. They're automatic, running in the background of our minds. And our brains, they only have a little bit of processing power left to deal with new stuff. We become our habits, basically.
I realized this, like, when I started working out. I never really stuck with any kind of regular exercise before. Then, my trainer gave me this daily plan, it wasn't too hard or anything, didn't push me too much, but I had to do it every single day. And after a while, it was amazing how much better I felt, both physically and mentally.
If you want peace of mind, you need physical peace first.
Sticking to that workout, that's what showed me the power of habits. I started to see that everything's about habits, you know? Every moment of every day, you're either building new good habits or breaking old bad ones. And both of those things, they take time.
You know, some people say, "I wanna get in shape, I wanna be healthy. I'm too fat now, I'm out of shape." Well, getting in shape takes work, and if you only do it for, like, three months, you won't build a habit, and you won't be able to keep the results. Building a habit and staying in shape takes, like, ten years, at least. You know, ideally, you should be changing some bad habits and adding some good ones every six months or so. It really just depends on how fast you can change.
There's this idea that everything's in a state of constant inner change. You've gotta be ready for, like, a total transformation. Whenever you say, "I'm planning to try something new," or, "I'm planning to build a new habit," you're kind of holding back, right?
What you're really saying is, "I'm trying to buy myself more time." But you should just follow what you really want to do. If you wanna meet a cool girl, go meet her. If you wanna get a drink, go get one. If you really wanna do something, just do it.
Saying "I'm planning to," that's just putting it off, making excuses. But, you know, even if you don't do it, at least be aware of what you're actually thinking. "Okay, I say I wanna do this, but I don't really want to. 'Cause if I did, I would've done it already."
If you really want to do something, one way to make it happen is to tell everyone you know about it. You know, like if you wanna quit smoking, tell everyone, "I'm quitting, I'm doing it. I promise you."
Just act on your ideas. It's that simple. But most people, they say they're not ready yet, so they don't tell their friends. And if that's you, just be honest with yourself. Admit it. "I'm not ready to quit smoking. I love it too much, it's too hard."
But if you really do wanna quit, you can think, "Okay, I'll set a smaller, more realistic goal for myself. I can have people keep an eye on me. I'll stick with it for, like, three to six months. And then, I'll set another goal." Just take real steps that you can actually do instead of doing nothing and feeling bad about yourself.
When you really wanna change, you'll just do it. But most people, they don't really wanna change, or they don't wanna go through the pain of it right now. But at least, we can admit that to ourselves, be aware of our feelings and thoughts. Then, we can set small goals that we can actually achieve, and start moving forward.
Act quickly, and be patient with the results.
If you need to do something, just do it. What are you waiting for? Life is short. Time flies. Don't waste time putting things off. Don't waste time hesitating. Everyone's got their own purpose, so don't waste time doing stuff that isn't part of that.
Once you decide to do something, act fast and focus all your energy on it. And then, be patient with the results, because you only control yourself. Everything else is complicated and always changing.
It takes a long time for the market to accept a product. Business deals and working with other people, they all take time to develop. It takes time to make something great because you have to keep working on it over and over. Once you take action, move quickly, but be calm when you're waiting for the results. Inspiration fades quickly. When you get an idea, you gotta act on it right away.