Chapter Content
Okay, so let's talk about public speaking, right? I know, I know, for a lot of people, it's like, *the* worst thing imaginable. I used to be totally terrified of it, like, seriously nervous. And you're definitely not alone. I think there are surveys that say people actually fear public speaking *more* than death. Crazy, right?
But, the thing is, being good at speaking in public is, like, such an important skill. It can really help your career, your relationships, everything. It helps you build, you know, authority, shows you've earned your stripes, and, uh, it can just really speed things up in your personal and professional life. So, you can't just hide from it, you know? You gotta have some strategies to help you feel more confident and be the best you can be.
So, here's what I've done to, like, really build up my public speaking "muscle." You can start using these right away.
First, preparation, preparation, preparation.
Before the event, you gotta nail the structure. The best speakers, they don't just give a speech, they tell a story. They take you on a journey. So, create a structure that's easy to follow, something familiar. It really helps to, like, explain the structure right away, either in your presentation or when you start talking.
And then, think of it like building with Lego bricks. When you're, like, super nervous, you wanna memorize everything word for word, right? It's like a shield against your fear. You can just, like, recite it and not really be there.
But honestly, I found that it usually makes it worse. If you memorize, one tiny little mistake can throw you completely off. You only know it one way, so you can't adapt. One glitch, one weird question, one little stumble at the beginning, and *poof*, all your preparation is gone.
So, what I do is, I build Lego blocks. I practice the key parts, like the opening, the transitions, the punchlines. I perfect those little bits.
Also, practice your speech in chunks, not from beginning to end every time. It sounds weird, but it makes you way more flexible if things go off script.
Oh, and here's a weird trick for a big speech: practice it while you're walking briskly, or even jogging a little. Seriously! It simulates that heart rate increase you get when you're on stage. It's kind of brilliant, actually.
And, if you want to, study the best. We live in an age where we have access to, like, the best speaking coaches ever, all online. Find three to five speakers you really admire. Politicians, business leaders, comedians, whatever. Go to YouTube, find videos of them speaking, slow them down, and take notes.
Think about their structure, you know? How are they organizing their talks? What's the pacing like? When do they pause? When do they speed up? What about their voice? When do they raise it? When do they lower it?
Watch how they move. What are their gestures like? How do they interact with the audience? By watching the pros, you'll naturally start to pick up on their traits.
Okay, so that’s the pre-event stuff. What about right before you go on?
Well, there's something called the "spotlight effect." It's where you think everyone is paying super close attention to you, way more than they actually are. Public speaking is, like, *the* moment when the spotlight effect goes into overdrive.
To dial it down, try this "So what?" approach: confront your worst fears. What's the *worst* that could happen?
Imagine it actually happening. Now, ask yourself, "So what?" So what if you forget something, or you don't say it perfectly? You'll stumble through, but it's not going to kill you. Your family will still love you, and life will go on.
Usually, the answer to "So what?" isn't as bad as you think. As Seneca said, "We suffer more in imagination than in reality." It's so true, right?
Another thing, get into character! This is where you create a character that can show up and do the thing that scares you.
Basically, you make up a character in your head who can nail the speech. Then, you flip the switch and *become* that character before you step on stage.
Think about what this character is like. What are their traits? How do they act? What do they look like? What's their mentality?
Then, turn on your character and step into the moment as the best version of yourself. It's kinda fun, actually!
And finally, to deal with the nerves, try the "physiological sigh." It's a science-backed way to get rid of stress, like, *fast*.
It's a breath pattern: long inhale, short inhale, long exhale. Your body actually does it naturally when your carbon dioxide levels get too high. It helps you relax by releasing a bunch of CO2 really quickly.
So, if you feel your nerves building before the event, try this: inhale through your nose twice, once slowly, then once quickly. Then, long exhale through your mouth. Repeat that two or three times. Seriously, it makes a difference.
Okay, so you're on stage now. Time to deliver.
First, cut the tension! You know, a few minutes before I gave a keynote speech once, the organizers asked me what song I wanted to walk on to. They probably thought I'd pick something upbeat. I told them "Girl on Fire" by Alicia Keys. They thought I was kidding, but I was totally serious! Why? Because doing something unexpected and funny cuts the tension in the room immediately. When I walked on to that song, I had a built-in joke.
I said something like, "You're probably wondering why I walked on to 'Girl on Fire'... well, it's my one-year-old son's favorite song, and I figured he'd be more excited to watch the replay if his dad walked on to his favorite jam."
My anxiety disappeared when I saw everyone smiling and laughing.
So, find a simple way to cut the tension early and get people on your side.
Also, play the "lava game." Remember when you were a kid, and you pretended that the floor was lava? Well, during a speech, I play a similar game. I pretend my pockets and my torso are lava. I can't touch them.
It forces you to keep your arms away from your body, gesture broadly, and look confident.
Pro tip: Use big, bold gestures right away. It builds confidence and momentum.
And finally, move purposefully. Don't just pace around like you're nervous.
Take slow, methodical steps. Move with gravitas. Use your movements to add dramatic pauses to your words.
There are people who move just to move, and then there are people who move with intention. Always be the latter.
So, there you have it. All these strategies will really help your public speaking. Study the best, create a clear structure, build your Lego blocks, address the spotlight effect, get into character, eliminate stress with the physiological sigh, cut the tension early, play the lava game, and move purposefully.
Public speaking is a muscle you can build. If you use these strategies, you'll be well on your way. Good luck!