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Okay, here we go. So, like, our next thing to think about, our next, um, you know, vitamin for flourishing, is all about religion or spirituality. And, well, I know, I know, some of you might be thinking, "Oh boy," right? "I'm not religious, I don't wanna be." Or, "I'm not spiritual, I don't really care about that stuff." And, yeah, okay, I get it. And, honestly, you shouldn't, like, feel pressured to commit to somebody else's belief system if it doesn't really vibe with you, you know?

But, three things that I'm always trying to keep in mind are like, you know, being kind, being accepting, and having, like, a reverence for the mystery of it all. And those ideals, for me, anyway, and for a lot of other people, they help us get a little more comfortable with, like, being small. And what I mean by that is realizing we're part of something, like, way bigger than we can even imagine. So, we need, like, practices that keep us rooted in those ideas, that keep bringing us back to them, re-centering ourselves, whether we call them "spiritual" or not. And we gotta find the right, you know, words, the right vocabulary to understand where we fit into this big, giant story.

Because the universe? I mean, it's so mysterious. Even the smartest folks, like, Stephen Hawking, Albert Einstein, they couldn't even figure out the deepest parts. But Einstein, yeah, he was totally convinced that we're all connected to something infinite, you know?

He even, like, wrote to this father, this poor guy in New York whose son had, like, just died. And he said, "A human being is part of the whole, called 'Universe,' but a part that's limited in time and space. And he experiences himself, his thoughts, feelings as separate from everything else—kind of like an optical illusion. And trying to get rid of that illusion, that's the way to find peace of mind." Which, wow, right?

So, yeah, realizing we're just, like, tiny little specks can freak our egos out, and they start, like, screaming for attention. But what if that realization, also, like, makes us see that we're all connected to this huge web of living things, and we're united by, you know, both suffering and our, like, worth, you know?

And believing in something bigger doesn't always mean going to church or, like, meditating every day. Although, if that works for you, then, totally, go for it, you know? Personally, I've always felt a connection with Buddhist ideas, but, uh, I haven't been to church since I was a kid.

So, if you're searching for something bigger, try paying attention to the right things. What Buddhists call "right attention," or "kind attention." Accept the world around you, try to live in peace. Show love and acceptance to other people, and, yeah, maybe most importantly, to yourself.

And that brings us to, like, what can we do when things don't go our way, you know? When what we expect and what actually happens are totally different? How do we accept, not fight against, these, like, plot twists that life throws at us? So we can be more chill and ready to deal with stuff, you know?

A friend of mine was telling me about an AA meeting, and this guy named Eric was getting his thirty-year chip. And he was talking about how he used his "higher power" to stay sober. Now, AA has, like, religious roots, but when they talk about a higher power, it's on purpose kinda vague, doesn't have to be religious or anything. Some people just say, "a power greater than ourselves." And Eric? He was talking about his first sponsor, who'd passed away. It was so sweet, you know?

And Eric was holding the chip, and he remembered a meeting a long time ago, and somebody told their story, and they never forgot their sponsor, who made them feel seen, made them feel important. The sponsor kept telling them, "We're gonna love you until you learn to love yourself." And, bam, Eric, it hit him hard. Those words saved his life. They weren't originally his sponsor's, but, you know, he felt his presence in the room, like the sponsor was right there. And, get this, it turned out that Eric and the other speaker had the same sponsor! Isn't that wild? And that sponsor's wisdom is still helping people today.

One of the founders of AA, Bill Wilson, used to say that honesty got him started, but acceptance is what kept him sober. And, you know, at every AA meeting, they have a moment of silence, because silence is, like, holy. And then they pray for the alcoholics who are still struggling. And they say the Serenity Prayer together, "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

So, what can you actually change? Really, just yourself. You can change how you think, how you feel, how you act. Pretty much everything else is out of your hands. You can try to talk people into things, or even try to force them, but mostly, you gotta live your own life, and you don't get to control other people's lives, right? You hope things go your way, but that's not always how it works.

So, yeah, work on accepting what life throws at you. Or, better yet, remember that nobody's actually throwing anything at you. You're just walking your own path, and there are gonna be bumps. They're there whether you walk that way or not. Nobody put them there to get you down, you know?

Every single day, we have to figure out how to be a good person, no matter what's going on. We can respond to stuff based on what we truly believe, our values, instead of just getting scared or angry, or frustrated.

Like, I was on a plane once, and the woman next to me was, like, horrified when a mom and her baby sat down in our row. And I made a joke, like, "We better get ready to sing songs for the next few hours." And she rolled her eyes and said, "This always happens to me. I always get stuck next to a screaming kid. I don't know what I did to deserve this."

She thought that crying baby was happening *to* her? No way. It was just happening *near* her, and it wasn't personal. If we can learn to accept things, even the really hard things, with grace, and trust that we can handle it, we can take on pretty much anything.

And acceptance, yeah, that's where we start our spiritual journey. That's where we accept that we're, you know, often at the mercy of something bigger.

But, acceptance? It starts with you. If you can't accept yourself, how can you accept other people? You gotta be kind to yourself first.

You wanna know why people who are doing well are less likely to get depressed or anxious? It's all about acceptance. People who are flourishing are more likely to apologize. They're also more likely to be kind to themselves.

I mean, who hasn't screwed up and hurt someone they love? And, yeah, that can bring up a lot of shame. But shame, the psychologist Mary Lamia says it’s a "concealed, contagious, and dangerous emotion”. It doesn’t help us learn or grow, it just punishes us. It is much better if we can be kinder to ourselves. Because none of us are perfect. But, like Brené Brown says, we all still deserve love and belonging. You can make things right, or better, and learn and grow, all at the same time, by saying you're truly sorry. Admit you're wrong, admit you're not perfect, admit you sometimes act out of emotion.

Shame can also come up when you're under pressure, like at work, along with feeling hopeless, scared, angry, or jealous.

So, try meditating, with kind awareness. It helps "decontaminate" your mind. The first step is just noticing your emotions and thoughts without pushing them away, even if they're uncomfortable. Just naming a feeling and letting it come up, without fighting it, can help. When you’re used to letting uncomfortable thoughts simmer unnamed and unprocessed, in the background, it can bring up a wave of resistance.

Being kind to yourself helps you stop seeing difficult emotions as, you know, threats or personal failures. Instead, you can see them as just temporary feelings, that we can treat with tenderness. It brings overwhelming feelings down to size. You can focus on your breathing, and let pain and compassion exist together. It takes practice, maybe daily, to undo all those years of bad habits.

What we practice gets stronger in our brains. If we practice shame, we hide, and we don't learn from our mistakes. If we practice self-compassion, that kindness lets us be vulnerable, be imperfect, and apologize, and learn. And that helps us build new habits, be more observant, less reactive, and forgive other people for their flaws.

Shauna Shapiro, a psychologist, she studies self-compassion and being kind to others. And she, like, struggled with shame and self-doubt, too. And just trying to be more compassionate might not be enough. She can be judgmental about her failings at compassion.

So, her meditation teacher told her to do this every morning: Look in the mirror, put her hand on her heart, and say, "Good morning, Shauna, I love you." And she was, like, "Ugh, that's so cheesy." But instead of doing nothing, she just started by saying, "Good morning, Shauna." And, surprisingly, it started to work. She felt more tender toward herself. She also became more courageous, and at the end of her TED Talk, she turned to the audience and said, "Good morning, Shauna, I love you."

I was talking to a surgeon I know, and she told me a story that, like, really got me thinking. One of her mentors is, like, one of the best transplant surgeons in the world, and she's almost retired now. But, throughout her career, she was known for being intense in the OR. She'd yell at the residents, nurses, techs, and she didn't really care about anyone else's opinions.

My friend said it didn't go over well. People were, like, scared of her, even though they respected her. And even she knew she wasn't helping her team or her patients as much as she could.

Her husband, also a transplant surgeon, would often work with her. They'd do living donor surgeries together. She'd take part of the liver out of the living person, and then he'd put it into the person with the bad liver.

One day, he asked her, "Hey, what are you doing differently?"

And she was like, "What do you mean?"

And he said, "Well, you know, you're the best. But, for the last year, every liver you've given me has been perfect. Like, really, unbelievably perfect. What changed?"

And she thought about it, and the only thing that had changed was that she'd been meditating consistently before every surgery, to try to get along better with people, and maybe to get along better with herself. And, she learned to quiet her emotions, choose her words more carefully, slow down her mind, calm her hands, breathe through tough times. Which, yeah, we could all use those skills, whether we're holding a scalpel or not.

Meditation taught her to be in the moment, without thinking about past mistakes or worrying about the future. She also learned to be kind to all the sounds, feelings, thoughts that came up. She was tender with them all, even the negative ones. And those negative thoughts got quieter as a result. And that ability to pay attention to what she was doing, and nothing else, made her patients healthier and safer, and she did better work than ever before.

So, yeah, something had definitely shifted.

And, yeah, like that surgeon, like Shauna, I also struggle with being kind to myself, with acceptance. I never feel like I deserve anything good. I still feel like I need to prove myself to everyone. I'm still, after all these years, struggling with accepting myself.

Some friends of mine in the Netherlands have a public health program for mental health. It's based on acceptance and commitment therapy, or ACT. It's all about being more flexible. And it has two parts: accepting negative experiences, and choosing how to respond based on your values.

Someone who's flexible is willing to, like, be with negative feelings, instead of running away from them. Like the woman on the plane when the baby showed up, right? Most of us try to avoid stuff like that. But instead of getting emotional, ACT encourages you to make choices based on what's important to you, and what you want to create in your life. A flexible mind finds a way that baby on the plane could be fun, or at least a chance to grow, or be generous, or practice being mindful.

Okay, here's an example. You're coming to the end of a really tough time at work, and you have to give your boss a big report based on months of work. You're just finishing it up, and then your boss's boss changes the rules. The results are the same, but you have to rewrite the whole thing. You've got a few terrible days ahead.

Most of us would yell or cry, or both, and then call a friend to complain. Which is totally okay. But what would you do next?

An inflexible reaction? Refuse. Tell your boss it's impossible, too late, no time.

A flexible reaction? Call a meeting with your coworkers. Let everyone vent. Then, start making a new plan. One person does this, another does that. You're still mad and exhausted, but you're choosing acceptance. You accept what's changed, and you work with your coworkers to fix it.

You can use this same idea in tons of situations, big or small. Your friend's wedding, and your ex brings his new girlfriend. A ski trip when they pick a mountain you can't handle. Book club picks an author you hate and is at the house of someone who's mean to you. Your favorite coffee shop only takes cash. Your bridge partner ditches you for someone else.

In the ACT program in the Netherlands, people find their values and learn how to respond to bad stuff based on those values. They also learn to be open and nonjudgmental. The goal is to learn to consistently choose good responses to any situation, and build habits that are flexible and value-driven.

It's kinda like the Buddhist way to live better. Bad stuff happens, suffering exists. But we can live in a way that makes it better, instead of hiding from it. We have to learn to respond to adversity based on what's important to us.

And, my friends found that their program helped people do better, and they found that it was because it helped people be more flexible. And the effects lasted, which is awesome.

So, be flexible. Stick to your values. Choose acceptance. To do well, we have to train our minds to focus on what's important, and choose how to deal with the challenges of life. We need to balance feeling good with functioning well, and be kind, to others and to ourselves.

Sometimes, when I'm stuck thinking about something bad I've done, I just tell myself to stop. Sometimes I even put my hand out, like, "No more!" Then I try to think about something else.

If you're angry at yourself for eating sugar, or not finishing something, let yourself feel it. Take a little time, let it wash over you. Then, hit stop. Focus on what you can control, what you'll do tomorrow. Focus on the vegetables you will eat, the head start you’ll get on the group project. Don't focus on the things in your past. Accept your failures. Forgive yourself. Practice kindness to yourself first.

What do things like meditation, religious beliefs, and prayer have in common? Good religions have stories and practices that make our egos smaller, and replace them with kindness, generosity, acceptance, and answer big questions about the world. They teach us what to do with our pain, and remind us how to live a life that matters to other people, and the universe. You might not agree with the answers, but they've helped a lot of people throughout history. If you're religious, you've probably found that your worship brings meaning to your life.

When we talk about meaning, we usually mean feeling that your life has value. A lot of studies show that there's a connection between religious belief and having a sense of meaning.

I often think about a study comparing how religious people are in rich countries versus poor countries. The scientists found that people were happier in rich countries, but people found *more meaning* in poor countries.

I want to point out that difference. Why would rich countries have happier people, but people finding less meaning in their lives? Why would poor countries find more meaning? Maybe when people in rich countries said they were "satisfied," they meant they had the stuff they needed to do well. But if they don't find meaning in their lives, are they really more satisfied? Probably not. Losing, or lacking, meaning means that you probably don't have true well-being.

In the study, the researchers found that not having meaning was because they weren't connected to religion. As a country gets richer, fewer people say that religion is important in their lives. Meaning in life was higher in poor countries because people thought religion was important. It looks like money takes away religion, and losing religion makes life less meaningful. And, the data showed that not having a meaningful life increases the risk of suicide.

Other studies agree. Religiousness might make you feel like you matter, either to other people, or in the universe. And feeling like you matter is important in finding meaning.

One study I've been involved with my whole career, looked at how important religion was in people's homes when they were growing up. They wanted to see if there was a connection between religion and doing well as adults. They found that if religion was *very* important, it helped people do well. If it was only *somewhat* important, or less, then it didn't make a difference.

Being consistent was also important. If religion was very important when they were kids, and still important as adults, they were more likely to be doing well. But, another group of adults did almost *better* if religion had become very important to them over time, even if it wasn't important when they were kids.

So, you have to be "all in" for religion to help you flourish. Believing in belief is important.

We're born with the potential to be kind, generous, accepting, aware, and caring. The Dalai Lama says that everyone on Earth is a Buddha, has Buddha nature, and can become like Buddha. But we have to practice, practice, practice. Spiritual and religious practices are exercise. You aren't just born with good morals. You have to train to get stronger.

And spirituality can come in different forms. Culture can be a form of spirituality, too. Language is one of the most important parts of a culture. It talks about things seen and unseen, the material world, and the spiritual world. It keeps the past alive and connects it to the present and the future, just like spirituality.

We talk about when species go extinct, but we don't talk about when languages go extinct, even though it's happening really fast. The Indigenous Language Institute says that only half of the more than three hundred indigenous languages in the United States are still alive today. And at the rate they're dying, only twenty will be spoken by 2050.

A culture can die when its language dies. Language is the breath that keeps cultures alive. And when native languages die, it hurts the health of those people, especially kids. Canadian researchers have a concept called "cultural continuity." When it's lost, suicide rates go up in those communities. They found that kids dropped out of school and committed suicide more often when they lost cultural continuity.

They also found that First Nations communities where more than half the members spoke their native language, had very few, or no, youth suicides. Where less than half the members spoke it, suicide rates were six times higher.

Why are those indigenous languages so powerful?

In a lot of First Nations and Native American cultures, spirituality is key to being healthy, along with mental, emotional, and physical health. Language lets indigenous people keep doing their spiritual traditions, rituals, and ceremonies. Through their native language and spirituality, they respect nature, its elements, seasons, and its people. And they keep in touch with ancestors who have died, and only live in the spirit world. That sense of continuity, from the past to the present to the future, helps with the stress of modern life. It lets us connect with loved ones over time, and makes us believe we're here for a reason, to connect the past and the future with our lives.

That's a great example of trying to have reverence for mystery. When we lose someone, we mourn them forever. Cultural continuity, like using indigenous languages, and believing in something bigger, lets us keep our ancestors with us forever. We don't need to know where they are to know they're still with us.

When I stopped being spiritual about eight years ago, I started getting angry, resentful, and wanted apologies. My wife and I moved into a smaller home. I left my yoga studio where I'd been going for twenty years, and I lost my spiritual community. Instead of replacing it, I stopped doing yoga. And I started feeling like I wasn't appreciated at work. I traveled the world and gave talks, and had thousands of citations. But my university only gave me a temporary professorship. I felt like I wasn't getting enough praise. And I became self-centered.

As my ego grew, my spiritual life got smaller. It happens slowly. You don't realize you're losing touch with your divine side until it's too late. And it made it harder to live, to be kind, to forgive. Our minds can lead us, but they can also be led. Our thoughts can be taken over by forces that are stronger than us.

We know that bad is often stronger than good. In a one-on-one fight, a negative emotion will win. It will affect our memory and motivation more. But we can change this. We can work to make the negative less powerful. Spiritual and religious practices, when done regularly, make our minds stronger. We can learn to slow down. We can choose, again and again, to pay attention to our values.

When we make our good intentions stronger, we act better and honor the sacred part of us. Practicing "right attention" is super important. Right attention leads to right intention. When we honor the best part of ourselves, we honor our higher power, whether that's God, nature, or anything else that's good and bigger than us.

I've spent a lot of years working to believe that peace is something I create, not something that's created for me. And just because there's no violence, chaos, or anger, doesn't mean there's peace.

The Saint Francis prayer talks about this. It says that you are an "instrument." You aren't just supposed to listen, you have to create the music you want to hear. Gandhi said we have to be the change we want to see.

The prayer says to use right attention to create right intention. It isn't about avoiding bad emotions. It's about using those emotions to find something good on the other side. When you feel hate, sow love. When you are injured, pardon others. When you are in doubt, focus on hope. The prayer tells us to do for others what we want for ourselves, to understand rather than be understood, to love rather than be loved. When we give, we receive.

What we think about gets bigger and stronger. And what we pay attention to is what influences us. If you think about being rejected, or how disconnected you feel, those thoughts will get stronger. And those will help you languish.

I read a study where researchers looked at two groups of musicians practicing. One group physically practiced piano. The other group practiced the same amount of time, but in their minds. The group that only imagined practicing had more neuron growth in their brains. What you think about creates the paths in your brain that let you do it. What you do shapes your brain, but what you think shapes your behavior, too.

Every day we choose what to practice and what to pay attention to. When you rehearse for a play, you practice again and again to be ready. And after a lot of rehearsals, you know how you want to act. Most religious and spiritual practices are rehearsals. You rehearse in the acceptance program, you rehearse in prayer, you rehearse in meditation, you rehearse in yoga poses. All that rehearsal helps you grow the neurons to act in good ways. All of it uses attention, because you're choosing to pay attention to something spiritual, even when there are distractions. Attention is a gatekeeper. Intention is the gateway.

Be a better gatekeeper. We choose what to let inside ourselves. Our attention is our doorman. What we choose to pay attention to is what we allow to influence our brains.

You can't always choose who comes into your home, but you choose who gets to stay. If you focus on the rain, you might miss the sunshine. If you can't get over your cold coffee, you might not notice the shopkeeper smiled at you. If you're too busy yelling at the driver who cut you off, you might forget to sing along to your favorite song.

Look for a spirituality that serves you.

Buddhist monks say that meditation is like building the base camp for climbing Mount Everest. Nobody goes to base camp and says they're done. They all want to get to the top.

Building a base camp is key. But we shouldn't just hang out there. That's like languishing. Life is not for languishing. We're supposed to reach our own summit. We're meant to aim higher. To flourish.

Spiritual traditions say we should try to see ourselves, and our lives, more clearly. We have to start with our mind. Our base camp is a quiet mind. One that stays focused when things get tough. A place we can always go back to and get our strength.

My base camp is yoga. That's where my mind quiets down. The sutras are like the Bible for yoga people. Patanjali framed yoga as a spiritual development. Something you need to do to get over the obstacles in life.

Find your base camp, whatever it is. Seek out a state of relaxed awareness whenever you can. After yoga, I feel like a wet rag, completely wrung out. I'm totally relaxed in my body and mind. It's not like how you feel after a drink. That's relaxed oblivion. Yoga makes you feel relaxed, alert, and aware. That's how I describe a truly quiet mind.

And that's where learning happens. That's where we can take the next steps to becoming a better person. That's base camp. And from there, we can all reach the summit.

In addition to quieting your mind, yoga promises changes in your relationships. Yoga practice leads to a quieter, less judgmental mind. Not just of others, but of yourself. Some sutras promise that yoga will lead to a personal transformation. "Through kindness, compassion, joy, and indifference to pleasure and pain… the consciousness becomes favorably disposed, serene, and benevolent.” When we are at peace and kinder to ourselves, we bring peace and are kind to others.

With a quieter mind, you act better toward others. Difficult situations bring up difficult emotions. We focus on what we think is the problem, instead of what we can control. A quiet mind doesn't get caught up in negative emotions.

When I get upset about someone else's behavior, I stop myself and think about my reaction. Why do I blame someone else? I try to quiet my mind. My reaction says more about me than their behavior does. Take a moment to examine what's happening inside you, without blame. Quiet your inner critic, and accept yourself without judgment. From there, it's easier to accept others.

Instead of reacting negatively, a quiet mind looks outward to do right by others, instead of just protecting itself. And doing right by others brings us serenity. It's a self-sustaining circle of positivity.

Is yoga really magic? Can it fix us all? Sadly, no. A study found that people who go to yoga studios weren't any more likely to be doing well than college students. Encouraging you to do yoga might not be any more helpful than nudging you to go to college.

But, a large study found that a "fuller practice" of yoga produces more benefits. People who studied the philosophy of yoga and practiced more regularly had higher levels of mindfulness, ate better, slept better, and were more likely to be doing well. A full yoga practice leads to a greater chance of flourishing.

You must devote yourself to the practice. Keep practicing, and you'll strengthen your path.

The philosophy of yoga, meditation, or any other spiritual practice is like the Buddhist eightfold path. It's about studying and practicing how to be more ethical, a better person, in your life. The peace you feel at the end of yoga is a preparation, a beginning, for becoming a better person. A quiet mind is ready to learn about itself. And that allows you to feel comfortable going inside yourself. That's the key to the internal path.

Yoga, like other forms of mindfulness, can lead to transcendence. It can mean you no longer feel like you're separate. That the boundaries between you and something bigger have melted away.

A friend told me a story about going to New Orleans. They went to the most crowded places they could find. But one place was quiet. Almost too quiet. They went in and found a still crowd. There were two old men up front, playing their instruments with their eyes closed. They looked like they'd been jamming together for fifty years.

They were playing a slow, sad version of "Time After Time." It was so stunning that you could hear a pin drop. My friend stood in the middle of the room, feeling the music. Listening to that musical conversation that had probably been going on for decades. Tears slipped down her face. That was the closest she'd ever felt to transcendence.

I'm not going to make you do yoga, unless you want to. It's brought me a lot of joy, but it's not for everyone. When you take on something, do it in a big way. It doesn't mean you need to spend twenty hours a week on it. It just means you should let your heart into it. Believe in it deeply.

If you take a painting class, don't hide your work when the teacher comes around. Don't skip the second class because you were embarrassed. Embrace the awkward. Push past the hesitation.

Open your heart to finding meaning and beauty everywhere. Maybe in a jazz venue. Or maybe at the museum. Or while bird-watching. Or watching gulls at sunset. Maybe while reading poetry on the subway. Beauty is everywhere if you let yourself stop and look for it.

Believe that an emotional connection to something new is a good thing to chase. That sense of connection with something bigger is powerful.

Connections with the world, and with each other, are more powerful than we think. Our loneliness level is a big determinant of our health. Studies show that religion can help protect against loneliness.

Religious attendance is connected to higher levels of social integration and support. Which is connected to lower levels of loneliness. Being involved in religion can help protect against loneliness by integrating people into supportive social networks.

Connecting to something bigger makes us feel less alone. When we feel most alone, we feel like we're floating without purpose. Being alone breeds fear, and makes the world seem more dangerous. We become more reactive. It becomes a self-defeating cycle that leads to destructive behavior.

Alcoholics describe that cycle as the downward spiral that led them to their "bottom." The end of that cycle is self-destruction that leads to death or rebirth. It takes facing the choice between death and life to turn that cycle around.

I sense that cycle happening in the world. People are feeling alone and disconnected from the spiritual nature of the universe. Climate change, a pandemic, war, nuclear threat, wildfires, flooding, hotter temperatures, storms are making us feel like we live in an angry universe.

It's hard to connect with a universe that seems like it's trying to destroy us. If we don't take care of it, it can't take care of us. Charity and kindness are the oldest lessons. We can't forget them.

For me, it starts with mystery. Believing that the universe is good makes me want to connect to its mysteries. Even when I'm not in my spiritual place, if something sparks my sense of mystery, it will take me there. So, I'd tell you to invite more mystery into your life. Mystery about yourself, other people, ideas, and questions.

When something piques my mysteriousness, I become curious. I want to know more. We're built to be learning machines. You can't truly learn about something you hate. You need to start from a place of care.

And that goes both ways. When I feel connected to the universe, I don't feel alone. I feel like I'm walking with a higher power. A universe that's nurtured, healthy, and safe.

I increasingly agree that we're created with a spark of the divine inside us. We're born with the potential to be good. When I practice self-compassion, I honor myself. And as I honor myself, I treat other people with the honor they deserve, because they have divinity in them, too.

I always thought God had to come into me. But now I think it's the other way around. I was trying to let God in, but I think the key is that the hard work of becoming a better person is letting the God inside us out.

There's more to spirituality than yoga poses or meditation. And there's more to religion than attending services. Those practices reduce stress. But religion should remind us of the work we have to do. If becoming a better person was easy, wouldn't everyone be kind?

I haven't found a religious or spiritual path that someone walked alone, and no one has ever walked such a path by standing still. Nobody has made it to the top of the spiritual Everest alone.

Every Buddhist place of spiritual development has a sangha. A community of others seeking the same goal. Knowing they will need help, to learn from people who have been on that path longer. Find the people who will help you stay on the path, to keep looking to see what's around the next corner.

Walking that path isn't just about the destination. It's about what you experience along the way. In my seminar, I like to show a TED Talk on gratitude. The photographer's pictures are stunning. But what stuck with me was a little girl who basically talks about turning off the TV. She's describing wonder. "When I watch TV, it's just some shows that you just, that are just pretend. But when you explore, you get more imagination than you already had. And when you get imagination, it makes you want to go deeper in so you can get more and see beautifuller things. Like the path, if it's a path, it can lead to a beach or something. And it could be beautiful."

Is there any better idea for life? That little girl has cracked the code. If you follow the path, and trust that there will be something beautifuller around the next turn, you could walk yourself right out of languishing and into flourishing for life.

Explore the beauty and wonder of life.

Religious teachings and spiritual philosophies tell us to become more godlike in terms of our character.

I'll warn you. I haven't seen a religious or spiritual path that someone walked alone. And no one has ever walked such a path by standing still. Nobody has made it to the top of spiritual Everest alone, without a guide, without a community. And no one who sought enlightenment stayed in base camp.

Every Buddhist place has a sangha, a community of others wanting to do the same thing. They know they need help, and they'll learn from leaders. Find the people who will help you stay on the path, to keep looking to see what's around the next corner.

Walking that path isn't just about the destination. It's about what you experience along the way.

Explore the beauty and wonder of life.

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