Chapter Content
Okay, so, um, I wanted to talk a little bit about finding your, like, true north. You know, kind of like climbing the right mountain. There's this quote, right? Seneca, he said, "There is no favorable wind for the sailor who doesn’t know where to go." Makes you think, doesn't it?
I remember, for my thirty-second birthday, my parents gave me this little silver compass. Inside, it said, "Sahil—So you may always know where your true north lies. Mom & Dad." It was their way of saying, you know, life is about, like, direction, not just speed.
There's this story about King Pyrrhus, I think he was from Epirus, way back when. He, like, charged into battle with the Romans. He won, but the victory actually set him up to lose the whole war. It's like, so many people end up like that, you know? So, to avoid that, you really gotta focus on direction. Gotta keep that compass pointed where you wanna go, towards your true north.
And that's where goals and anti-goals come in. Think of it like, calibrating your compass. Your "Life Razor," as I call it, is like your identity, like, who you are, what you stand for, right? Your compass, though, that's where you’re going, your vision. You use your Life Razor when you're facing, like, challenges, but your compass, that steers you toward your dream life.
So, this framework for setting goals has two parts: goals, obviously, and anti-goals. Goals, those are the things you actually want to happen, you know, the big stuff. Think big, long-term ambitions, but also the medium-term checkpoints, those "campsites" along the way. Like, if your big ambition is the top of the mountain, those medium-term goals are the spots you need to reach on the way. You can't just, poof, be at the summit.
And then there are anti-goals. These are the things you *don’t* want to happen while you're trying to reach your goals. It’s a concept from this entrepreneur, Andrew Wilkinson. He was talking to his business partner, and they realized, you know, "Our true goal was actually pretty simple: We wanted to enjoy our time at work, but without the same problems – jammed calendars, constant travel, no time with kids, not enough sleep—that plagued many of our successful friends.”
They were big fans of Charlie Munger, the investor, and he said something like, "All I want to know is where I'm going to die so I'll never go there.” That kinda sparked the idea. You need to flip the problem, right? Set goals for what you want, but also set anti-goals for what you want to avoid.
So, anti-goals are about knowing where you're gonna, metaphorically, die, so you don't go there. If your goals are the summit, your anti-goals are the things you don't want to lose on the way up – your toes, your sanity, your life, you know? You want that CEO job, but not if it means never seeing your family or losing your mind.
To figure out your anti-goals, look at your goals, and instead of thinking about the good stuff, flip it around. Ask yourself: What are the *worst* things that could happen if I chase these goals? What could *cause* those bad things? What would be a Pyrrhic victory, you know, winning the battle but losing the war? Then pick one to three specific anti-goals for each long-term goal. Once you do that, your compass is pretty much set.
Then you need, like, high-leverage systems, which is how you actually move. If your goals and anti-goals are the direction, these systems are the engine. James Clear, in *Atomic Habits*, he said, "You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems." Basically, your systems are the daily actions that create progress. Leverage makes that progress bigger. High-leverage systems are the actions that give you amplified, asymmetric forward progress.
Think about Lionel Messi, you know, the soccer player. He's walking around the field in the 107th minute of the World Cup final! Ninety thousand people screaming, a billion watching... and he's just strolling! Then, boom, he explodes into action, gets the ball, Argentina scores. He wins.
People call him lazy because he walks so much, but it's not laziness. It's strategy. Warren Buffett, the investor, does the same thing. He waits for the perfect pitch, the perfect investment. He doesn't trade all day.
So, what do they have in common? They focus their energy on a few key moments and ignore everything else. When they're "on," they go all-in. When they're "off," they conserve energy and position themselves. They work smart, not hard. They both understand the power of high-leverage systems. Most people put in one unit of input and get one unit of output. Messi and Buffett find the actions that give them one *hundred* units of output for that same input. They break the connection.
Now, there's this old idea that you can only focus on a couple of things at a time. It's like an on/off switch. If one thing's on, others have to be off. The problem is, if something stays off too long, it might *never* turn back on. You gotta nurture your relationships, your health, your mind... if you let them go, you can't always get them back.
So, this book, what I'm trying to say, rejects that idea. Think of it like a dimmer switch, not an on/off switch. You can prioritize things without completely shutting down other areas. You can focus on your career without letting your relationships die. You can focus on your family without letting your career go to nothing.
Like, imagine a few seasons of life. First, you're starting out, building your career. Financial and mental wealth are the main goals. You don't want time, social, and physical wealth to disappear, so you do a few things to keep them going.
Then, you start a family. Time and social wealth become important. You don't want your career to fall apart, so you do a few maintenance tasks. Later, maybe you focus on your purpose and health. And in retirement, you focus on your relationships. You keep everything going, just at different levels.
The "dimmer switch" idea also helps with the pressure to always be growing in every area. My wife wanted to be there for our son when he was born, but that meant slowing down her career. It was a hard choice because she felt like she *should* be doing more. I felt the same way when I left my job. People thought I was crazy.
But it's just one season, you know? You can prioritize some things and maintain others. Think of surfers. They enjoy one wave, knowing there's another one coming. They don't have to catch *every* wave. They just need to be in the right position. You gotta be in the water. That's how you catch any waves at all.
And of course, things change. You need to course correct. Little mistakes can add up to big problems. So, you need to check in with yourself regularly.
At the end of each month, ask: What really matters to me right now? Are my goals still right? Are my high-leverage systems helping? Am I about to mess up my anti-goals? It takes 30 minutes, but it helps you stay on track.
Every three months, ask some more questions: What gives me energy? What drains my energy? Who are the "boat anchors" in my life, the people who hold me back? What am I avoiding because I'm scared? Fears are limiters. Face them.
If you do this stuff, you'll keep your compass pointing the right way. I remember, a while back, I wrote a letter to myself. I was graduating from college, and I told myself to open it ten years later. When I finally opened it, it was crazy.
I told myself to marry my wife, to have kids, to work on my insecurities, to tell my parents I loved them, to get closer to my sister, to find meaningful work, to care about my friends, and to have some fun. It was like my younger self knew all the answers!
It hit me so hard. The answers are *within* you. You just haven't asked the right questions yet. This book, it doesn't have the answers, but it will help you ask the right questions. So, before you go any further, write a letter to your future self. Think about where you are and where you want to be. Imagine that future. That letter is your true north. You can create that future. You have the answers. You just need to start asking the right questions.