Chapter Content
Okay, so, you know, I was thinking about how we actually grow and learn, right? And it's funny because recently, like, I was totally glued to the TV watching this marathon runner, you know, break the world record. But, get this, what's really interesting about him is that he keeps this super detailed diary. It's not just about his training schedule, like, it has all kinds of stuff in it. Like, his mental state, his environment, how he felt during the runs, even, like, how his shoes felt. Like, everything.
And it made me realize, he gets it. He understands that, like, to actually improve, you need two things: trial and error. You gotta try things out, even if you don't have all the info, right? You just gotta jump in and see what happens. And *then*, this is the key, you gotta actually look at the results and, you know, adjust. If you don't do both, you're kind of just stuck.
Someone once said that, like, in complex situations where you can't really see the whole cause and effect thing, just trying stuff and learning from it is way better than, like, having this, you know, rigid plan. It's how nature works, right? It adapts, it gets feedback, and it evolves in these cycles.
And it's so true, you know? 'Cause I talked to this one person, and she was saying how she reviews both, like, the data *and* people's opinions every single year. She, like, sits down and thinks about what people liked, what they said, and how *she* feels about it. It's about making time to actually reflect, otherwise you could, like, totally burn out doing the same thing over and over again.
So, yeah, trial and error, they're like, a package deal. Without trying, you don't get to learn from your mistakes. And without looking back, you just keep making the same mistakes, even if you're, like, busy doing things. You need to, you know, pause, learn from each time, and make those little changes along the way.
That's what sets up those growth loops, you know? You're constantly learning more about yourself and the world around you. It's not about, like, reaching some goal, it's about, well, fueling your own growth. You're not just going in circles, you're *growing* in circles.
Our ancestors kind of already knew this, right? Think about the wheel. It shows up everywhere as a symbol of growth and success. It means progress and wholeness, you know? It's complete, but it's always moving, always changing. And hey, even our minds work that way. You know, like a perception-action cycle. The brain is constantly getting info and deciding what to do with it. So, you're not just blindly pushing towards some target. Your brain is getting feedback and adjusting as you go.
And if you pay attention, you see this everywhere. Like the scientific method, right? Hypothesis, testing, results. Or sports teams, they try a strategy, see how it goes, and adjust. Or even chefs, they add an ingredient, taste it, and decide if it works. You know what I mean? Like, it's okay if you mess up. It's part of the process. It's a tool to guide you forward.
So, what can you do about it? How can you use this? Well, you need to look inward, right? And this is where metacognition comes in. It's like, thinking about your own thinking. It's a human thing, but not enough of us do it.
Introspection is like just noticing your thoughts and feelings, but metacognition, that's, like, awareness *and* analysis. It's having an inner coach who's watching the game and giving you, like, strategies to win next time. It's not just realizing you're struggling, it's understanding *why*, and asking yourself, like, what should I try next?
It keeps you from making choices, you know, without thinking. It helps you see what you've done, what worked, what didn't, and how you *really* feel about it all. You just don't want to be stuck in that loop of endless social media and emails.
Research shows that without metacognition, you might not even know what's affecting your choices. You're not learning from your experiences, and that trial and error thing isn't leading anywhere.
So, metacognition is like, being curious about your inner world. It gives you the tools to shape your thoughts and feelings, to move towards your goals. The more information you have to reflect on, the better you'll be at, you know, dealing with uncertainty.
Think about that one woman who hated math as a kid, right? She thought she just wasn't wired for it. But then, she went into the army, and she saw how important it was to understand these systems. So, she started from scratch, and she developed these metacognitive strategies to help her learn. She realized she needed both focused time and time to just relax her mind. And now she's, like, a professor, and she created this super popular course on learning how to learn. It's proof that understanding your own thinking can really change things.
Metacognition is sometimes called the forgotten secret to success, because it allows you to see when you need to change direction. It's also helpful in everyday work situations. It gives you clarity and creative space to think. It helps you see if you're on the right track.
It's not about, you know, better skills or knowledge, it's about thinking about your thinking, questioning yourself, and knowing your mind. That's the advantage. You're the actor *and* the director of your own life story.
Okay, so, I have a tool for you: It's called Plus Minus Next. It's super simple. You write the date at the top of a page, and draw three columns. At the top of each column, write a plus sign for what worked, a minus sign for what didn't go so well, and an arrow for what you plan to do next. Then fill it with experiences from the past week. It can be anything, big or small, work or personal.
In the Plus column, write down any accomplishments that made you proud. In the Minus column, identify any challenges or obstacles you faced. And in the Next column, use what you've written in the other two to plan your actions for the coming week.
It doesn't need to be anything too complicated. It's just a snapshot of your mind, okay?
Plus Minus Next is what connects action with reflection. It's feedback, it's thinking after doing, it's debugging your life as you go.
It is based on centuries of wisdom. It's like "thinking in action". Plus Minus Next works because it's fast, flexible, and future-focused. Five minutes, that's all you need. You shouldn't get hung up on the negative; you just want to use it constructively. Didn't finish that project? Make it a priority next week.
Lots of people use Plus Minus Next for their weekly review. They find it helps them express gratitude and realize how productive they were, as opposed to just dreading the week ahead. It's like a burst of inspiration every week. And you take better actions each week, you know?
You can use it alongside journaling, too. Some people start with journaling, then use the Plus Minus Next columns to capture the main points. Or you can do it the other way around and expand on your observations with journaling. And if you have trouble journaling consistently, Plus Minus Next can be its own thing.
You can also use it for specific events or processes. Like, one person I know used it to plan a baby shower, so she'd have a better idea of what to do next time. Or another person used it to track her baby's changing needs. I even use it with my team to talk about our achievements, challenges, and plans. It keeps everyone aligned and motivated.
Plus Minus Next is great for annual reviews, too. At the end of the year, you can look back at all your weekly reviews and see what you accomplished, what didn't work out, and what you still want to explore.
Choosing the right frequency can be an experiment in and of itself. In fact, Plus Minus Next isn't about making huge changes or, you know, crafting some five-year plan. It's about making those small adjustments that add up over time. You can figure out what you want more of and focus your attention on those things. And you can also turn difficult situations into opportunities to define your communication style.
What went well? What didn't go so well? What should I try next? Just keep asking yourself those questions, and you'll learn and grow on purpose, instead of just letting things happen.
And that brings me to mistakes, right? Now we all know this one artist. And it turns out his process was pretty messy. He'd start sketching without even knowing how things worked, and he'd use his mistakes to move forward. His drawings were covered in smudges and stains.
And I know that it can be hard to write about what went wrong. It's easy to talk about success, but it's harder to talk about failure, especially when you're the one who messed up.
But, to err is human. We all make mistakes. And they can be small or big, obvious or subtle. Even when we know we made a mistake, we might just ignore it instead of figuring out why it happened.
But you can't avoid mistakes altogether, but you *can* choose how to react to them. You should try to make *good* mistakes. Good mistakes make you reflect and refine your approach. They're the ones you learn from. They're the ones that make you grow.
For example, for a long time, I used to work late at night. But then, I stopped drinking alcohol, and my body changed. I'd get sleepy after dinner and wake up early. So, I had to ask myself, "Do I like this or not?" And it turned out I didn't. I was working all day and not giving myself a break.
So, I made some changes. I started taking a longer break in the middle of the day, and I finished work earlier.
Because if you don't think about those errors, you miss the chance to grow from them. You want to actually learn from your mistakes. They can teach you things, right? That's why the Plus Minus Next tool is so helpful. While you can make a pact to act, Plus Minus Next allows you to evaluate those actions. It helps you celebrate your achievements and learn from your mistakes. Only through action and reflection can you really grow.
So, if you combine your pact with a metacognitive practice, you've created your own life laboratory. You've got everything you need to learn through deliberate action and reflection: an approach based on experimenting, seeing what worked, what didn't, and what to change next.