Chapter Content
Okay, so, um, let's talk about getting a deeper sense of time, because honestly, who hasn't felt like they're just, like, running on a hamster wheel? There's this image, right? "Your Life in Weeks," it's been floating around for, like, a while. It's basically your whole life laid out as these tiny, little squares, like on a Post-it. And, uh, it really hits you, you know? Like, "Whoa, that's it? That's all the time I get?" It kinda makes you think, "Am I even using this time right?"
And that's where the whole productivity thing kicks in, right? We're all, like, obsessed with time management, trying to cram as much as humanly possible into each of those little squares. It’s almost, like, this fear of missing out on life, you know? Like the Germans have a word for it — Torschlusspanik or something.
It's so common, this whole productivity obsession. You know, I even asked around if anyone felt like they were "recovering productivity junkies," and the responses were, like, flooding in! All sorts of people, too — engineers, teachers, nurses, you name it. The thing is, they all said the same thing: that whole focus on constant output? It just leads to burnout. Sleep problems, health issues, even wrecked relationships... Someone even said they forgot how to just, like, chill and enjoy the moment. Like, is it okay to just walk instead of rushing always?
So, yeah, we all want to make the most of our time, but how do we do it without totally frying ourselves? It's not about just cramming more in, it's about, like, a whole new way of thinking, and, you know, a new way of doing things. We've got to understand why we're so hooked on this productivity thing in the first place.
See, we're kinda taught that being productive is, like, a moral obligation, you know? Like, "I'm contributing to society!" It's almost like we tie our worth to how much we get done. Being productive is, in a way, like saying, "Hey, I'm here, and my existence actually matters."
And, growing up, maybe our parents or teachers emphasized grades over effort, or we were always pushed to learn new skills, pack our weekends… it's easy to get caught up in that. Seeking approval from them turns into seeking approval through being crazy busy and bragging about it!
So we start treating every minute like it's a resource to be exploited. It's all about getting the most done in the shortest amount of time, chasing these, like, linear goals. We even talk about time like it's a commodity, right? We "spend" time, "invest" time, "save" time, "budget" time. Everything has to have a tangible outcome to be "worth" it. And in that mindset, productivity becomes a virtue, and curiosity? It's a distraction.
And, even if you grew up in a curious environment, big life changes can make you dive into work, like, as a coping mechanism. Graduation, promotion, new job, moving, becoming a parent, losing a parent… all these things can make you crave control, which makes you feel like you should be productive! Like one person I knew started a stressful startup job and became obsessed with tracking every minute, even when he was watching movies!
Or, neurodiversity might be playing a role. Some neurodivergent people can focus really intensely on specific things, and if that thing is "productivity," it can become a fixation, like, buying courses, apps, templates… which, ironically, can actually distract you from doing the work! One teacher even told me that she's autistic and that productivity became a special interest, so she had to know everything about it. Another guy with ADHD said he ended up spending so much time reading productivity books and trying to apply the advice that he had to optimize his productivity to do the stuff he actually wanted to do.
No matter where it comes from, this toxic productivity thing becomes this hidden drive that influences everything we do, pushing us to constantly produce, produce, produce while ignoring the need for rest, reflection, and, you know, actually engaging with life. Everything needs a clear outcome. Even conversations feel transactional. Those "unproductive" moments of play and quiet contemplation? Gone! There's no space for the mind to wander and connect the dots.
Let's be real, nobody *really* wants to live a productive life, right? We want to express ourselves, connect with others, explore the world. Productivity is just a tool to get there, and it definitely shouldn't come at the cost of, you know, actually living.
The good news is, even though this toxic productivity is super seductive, there is a way out. But it means, at least for a while, ditching the calendars, the timers, the to-do lists, and embracing a more fulfilling way of thinking about time.
Forget Time Management, Think…
Okay, so the ancient Greeks? They were onto something. They had two words for time. Chronos, that's the time we all know and hate, you know? The time of clocks and calendars, of productivity tools and linear goals. It's like, the time that's always ticking away, making you feel like you're never doing enough. It's the Grim Reaper of time, really.
But then there's Kairos. Kairos isn't about quantity, it's about quality. It recognizes that every moment is unique and has a purpose of its own. Like, some weeks feel longer, right? I don't remember the day I was born, but the night before I started school felt like it went on forever! And the week I was trying to get the book published felt like a month! Then sometimes when bad things happen, like someone passing away, it can feel like that day lasted years.
Think about it. Do the weeks of your life feel identical? Or does time feel more like… fluid? Like an elastic experience?
I mean, research backs this up. Time seems to expand when you're experiencing strong emotions, like fear, sadness, or joy. If you’re hungry or tired, the same thing. And when you're bored, time drags, but when you're completely engrossed in something, it flies by.
Plus, time seems to speed up as we get older. Even language and culture play a role. Time isn't a series of identical units; it's a personal, fluid experience. You could show that "life in weeks" chart but make all the boxes different sizes.
And, it’s a way better way to think about things. Instead of staring at a countdown clock, we realize that our best weeks might be ahead of us. This shift from quantity to quality is the first step towards getting things done in a healthier way and answering that question of how to actually make the most of our weeks.
So, the Greeks knew this, and that’s why they valued Kairos. It’s the unique potential of each moment. It's that opening, the perfect moment.
I’ll give you an example. My dad was from Brittany, in France, and they're famous for their oyster harvest. You can technically go gather seafood any day, but the wise people know that not all moments are equal. Some shellfish burrow deep in the sediment, or you shouldn’t harvest oysters after heavy rains because they’re filtering out pollutants.
So, the foragers understand that not all moments are created equal. Some carry a particular weight, a unique potential. They're the sweet spot where our best ideas and most meaningful experiences come from.
Those Kairos moments are what I call magic windows. It’s when you’re immersed in something you love, or spending time with loved ones, or reflecting on things. When you feel like the moment is suspended in time, you know? It’s when you feel like this moment, right now, is perfect.
Kairos captures what productivity ignores, which is that the value of time depends on the situation. Sometimes, a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity feels less important than reading a bedtime story. Time alone might be more vital than going out with friends. And unexpected stuff happens, right? An emergency might trump a party, or you get sick when you finally have time for a hobby. A colleague might leave right before a launch.
Even in flexible jobs, we still often have rigid structures, and we need to balance our ambitions and obligations. Like, some writers need long stretches of time, otherwise they can't even write!
So, within those constraints, we have the chance to be mindful of our inner states and focus on what resonates most at any given moment. Embracing Kairos means letting go of this idea of maximizing every minute and appreciating each moment for what it is.
To live in Kairos time, we need to shift the focus from what we *do* with our time to how we *experience* each moment. It's not about doing more but about *being* more: more present, more engaged, and more attuned to the quality of our experiences.
Open Your Magic Windows
Mindfulness and productivity might seem like opposites, but that's only because we're thinking about time in terms of Chronos, that linear ticking clock. Traditional productivity is top-down, trying to cram as much as possible into identical boxes.
Mindful productivity is bottom-up. It focuses on the quality of the experience. It recognizes that each box is unique and helps you choose the right thing to do.
Time is the most important thing in traditional productivity. With mindful productivity, it’s about managing your physical, cognitive, and emotional resources, which give rise to Kairos moments.
So, first, Physical Resources: Manage Your Energy
We're so reliant on timers and apps, micro-scheduling, reminders… But our best timekeeper might be inside us: our internal clock, our circadian rhythm. Instead of just following a schedule, we need to think about our natural energy cycles.
Turns out, whether you're a morning person or a night owl is often genetic. There are actually "third birds" who are somewhere in the middle. By understanding your chronotype, you can see when your energy is highest, when your creativity peaks, and when you need to recharge.
And it's not just daily cycles. Hormonal shifts, seasonal changes… they all affect your productivity and creativity. Even women’s soccer coaches used it to their advantage! They monitored their players' menstrual cycles and adapted their diet, exercise, and sleep to work with their hormones, not against them.
So, no matter what, whether sleep habits, hormones, or seasons, everyone has unique ups and downs during the day, week, and year. There are even longer biological rhythms called circannual cycles, that suggest that seasons affect the brain.
Lots of leaders and creatives have known this for ages, about understanding these cycles to work smarter. LeBron James, Arianna Huffington, and Bill Gates prioritize sleep. Winston Churchill took naps! Thoreau spent winters leading a more inward life.
So, tracking your energy levels is a good way to start managing your physical resources better. For a week or two, note how you feel at different times of the day, to see your peaks and troughs. Some people even color-code their calendars based on how activities affect their energy: green for energizing, yellow for neutral, red for draining. Then you can prioritize the green stuff and avoid the red.
Think about reevaluating your magic windows, too. You might think you’re a night owl, but that might not be true anymore! Our rhythms change over time. Try experimenting with different working hours and see when you feel most alert.
Finally, listen to your body! Yawning, feeling foggy… these are cues that you need rest. Don't push through with caffeine! Take a nap or a break.
Let’s say you come back from a busy weekend. The efficiency mindset tells you to dive right into work on Monday. Wake up early, go to the office, drink a ton of coffee, get to all those meetings!
The mindful productivity approach is kinder. You recognize you're tired and get some easy admin work done. Shift some meetings to Tuesday. Meditate or move your body in the morning, or just sleep more. You still get everything done, but you don't burn out.
So, managing your physical resources means letting go of the idea of always being "at your best." Energy fluctuates! Trying to stay at peak performance all the time is impossible and harmful. Respecting your natural rhythms can give you a healthier relationship with work and make you more productive and creative.
Next, Cognitive Resources: Managing Your Executive Function
Once you know your magic windows, what should you do with them? It'd be great to do everything at once, but our brains aren't limitless. We're limited by something cognitive scientists call executive function, which is our ability to choose and monitor our actions.
We think we're good multitaskers, but studies show that our performance tanks when we try to do more than one thing at a time. Our brains have an "attentional bottleneck," and it slows us down.
Working memory also limits what we can do in our magic windows. Think of it as the mental workspace where you process information. It's like juggling a bunch of balls; there's a limit to how many you can keep in the air.
So how do we manage these bottlenecks? By using sequential focus: doing one thing at a time. Accept that you can't maintain equal effort across everything. Decide moment to moment what's most important—family, work, yourself—and give it your full attention.
There will always be competing priorities. Instead of trying to keep all the balls in the air, use sequential focus to choose one and give it your energy.
Sequential focus isn't the same as time-blocking. It's not about scheduling your day in advance. It's about constantly evaluating: Given my current attention and memory, what's the best thing to do right now?
Think about your environment. If your kids are at home, maybe do lighter tasks. If you have a couple of hours alone and you're thinking about that presentation, dive in!
Also, think about your mental state. If you’ve been criticized, write it down on paper, then go back to your task.
And, above all, avoid multitasking! It might feel productive, but it lowers the quality of your work. Focus on one activity. Close apps, leave your phone, and tell people you're in focus mode.
And finally, Emotional Resources: Managing Your Emotions
Madonna said she used to cry from exhaustion before shows but still had to keep going. We can push ourselves, but it affects our mental health. And if we push too long, we might break down!
Stress isn't always bad. Some stress can boost performance. But like a sandpile, our stress levels can build until even a small amount triggers an avalanche. This isn't sudden, it’s the culmination of accumulated stressors. It’s crucial to know when stress is going too far.
But we've become terrible at listening to ourselves. We know we should take care of ourselves, but we don't. We overlook the signals our emotions are sending. Maybe it’s hard to sleep, or we're easily irritated, or we feel anxious for no reason.
It’s like a store owner who's swamped with customers and starts operating mechanically, processing transactions without attentiveness. They're physically there but emotionally disengaged. It feels productive, but the quality of customer interactions declines.
Instead of ignoring those symptoms, hit pause and connect with how you feel. Try stimulating your parasympathetic nervous system, which is like a brake on stress. Just move your body. It relieves anxiety and creates a virtuous cycle that reduces anxiety. And it's free!
It doesn't have to be a full workout. Just a few fluid movements. Roll your shoulders, shift your weight, rotate your wrists or ankles. Focus on the inner experience of the movement instead of how it looks.
Noticing your emotions and regulating your nervous system will help you develop emotional agility, which is the ability to adapt to your emotional experiences. When you're emotionally agile, you can navigate your emotional landscape and prevent responses like free-floating anxiety from holding you captive. You'll be able to do your best work without sacrificing your well-being.
So, your energy, executive function, and emotions are the three pillars of a fulfilling life, where contributing doesn't come at the expense of your inner world. Mindful productivity answers three questions:
Managing your energy: When is my magic window?
Managing your executive function: What belongs in this window?
Managing your emotions: How can I keep the window open?
To manage your physical resources, use energy syncing to align tasks with your energy peaks and block a weekly magic window. For your cognitive resources, use sequential focus to do one task at a time, considering your environment and offloading worries to your notes. For your emotional resources, practice conscious movement whenever you feel distressed.
Unfortunately, society often requires us to conform to a Chronos worldview. Unless you live on a desert island, you can't always let your inner states guide your actions. We have appointments, deadlines, and obligations. We make plans and then sometimes wish we were doing something else. Our jobs might require us to work late. Life happens.
So how can we return to Kairos when Chronos seems to be in control? How can we shift into a state of being when doing is compulsory?
Create A Kairos Ritual
What do walking in a circle, making tea, and listening to music have in common? They're all ways people ground themselves to do their best work.
I call these Kairos rituals. These small acts help you open a magic window, no matter what's going on in your life. It's a practice to call forth your highest awareness.
Meditating or doing yoga can be great, but they're hard to sustain when you're busy. Luckily, they're not the only ways to connect with yourself. Being mindful means interrupting autopilot, appreciating the little things, and observing how we feel physically, cognitively, and emotionally. A Kairos ritual is a way to see the present moment clearly.
Some examples include sitting on the floor in a corner, stretching while walking slowly in a circle, listening to music, taking a few deep breaths, or making a cup of tea.
Kairos rituals are as unique as the people who do them. Think about a simple action that can shift your mood, like music or scent; reconnect you to your body, like stretching or breathing; or give you a chance to check in with yourself, like making a list of your intentions.
These rituals are powerful because they're simple. They become habitual because they fit into everyday life. Their accessibility is what gives them the power to open magic windows.
Physically, they help you pause and recalibrate. Cognitively, they interrupt autopilot and help you recenter your focus. Emotionally, they offer a sanctuary to acknowledge your feelings. Kairos rituals are mini resets, priming you for action and ensuring your faculties operate in synergy.
There are two key factors in choosing a Kairos ritual. First, practicality. You might not be able to dance or light candles at the office. Choose something you can use whenever you need to reconnect, even if it's just sipping tea or writing down something you're grateful for. Second, and most importantly, choose a ritual that resonates with you. It should be something you look forward to, not something you dread.
Now, whenever you need to anchor yourself, you can use that ritual to switch to a Kairos-based mode of being, synced with your energy, leveraging your executive function, and connected with your emotions.
Mindful productivity gives you the support you need to live a life of curiosity. When you focus on being more, finding ways to be present and slow down time, you can avoid burnout without abandoning your ambitions.