Chapter Content
Okay, so, I was thinking about happiness the other day, you know, just kind of pondering, and something came to me. It's all about acceptance. Seriously. Like, in life, you're basically faced with, well, three options, right? You can try to change things, you can accept them as they are, or you can try to run away from them.
Now, wanting to change things, that's a desire, right? But until you actually *do* change things, that desire can, like, really make you miserable. So, the trick is, don't go trying to fix *everything*. Just pick the *one* thing, the most important thing, at any given time, and make that your goal, your motivation.
And, you know, why not have, like, two goals at once? Because it's distracting! Even chasing just *one* thing is hard enough, right? A peaceful mind comes from a clear mind. And to clear your mind, you really need to be present, live in the moment. If you're always thinking, "I *should* be doing this, I *want* that, this *has* to change," it's, like, impossible to find any peace.
So, yeah, back to those three options: change, accept, or escape. A lot of people, when they hit a roadblock, they just kind of... hover. They *wish* they could change things, but they don't really commit to it. They *wish* they could walk away, but they don't actually leave. And they *certainly* can't accept things as they are. That, that indecision, that avoidance, *that's* where most of the pain in life comes from, I think. For me, the word I repeat to myself the most is: accept.
So, what does "accept" even *mean*? Well, it means being okay, no matter what happens. It means staying balanced, keeping your mind focused. It's like... stepping back to see the bigger picture. Itβs about focusing on the long game, you know?
Life isn't perfect, not even close. But what's coming is coming, and sometimes... sometimes what's happening *right now* is actually the best thing that could be happening. The sooner you accept reality, the sooner you can adapt to it.
Now, getting to that state of acceptance is *not* easy. I've tried a few things, but, honestly, I can't guarantee they'll work for everyone.
One thing I do is take a step back and think about past struggles, past pains. And I actually write them down: like, the last breakup, the business failure, the health scare... and then I write down what happened *after*. That way, I can see how I grew, how I improved in the years that followed.
Another trick for dealing with, you know, minor setbacks is to just try and reframe things. When something goes wrong, part of me wants to freak out, but now I try to ask myself, "Is there anything *good* about this?"
Like, say I'm going to be late for a meeting. What's the upside? Maybe I can relax for a minute, look at the birds, watch the clouds. And maybe, you know, I'll spend a little less time in that boring meeting. There's almost always a positive angle, somewhere.
And even if you can't find something positive, you can always just think, "Okay, the universe is teaching me a lesson right now. I'm gonna listen. I'm gonna learn."
Easy example: I went to an event, and the organizers sent me a ton of photos. My first thought was, "Seriously? Could they have picked out a few good ones? Who sends, like, a hundred pictures?" But then I stopped and asked, "Is there anything positive about this?" And, yeah, there was. I got to choose my *own* five favorite pictures. I got to use my own judgment, my own taste.
I've been working on this for a while, and I've gotten a lot faster at it. At first, it took me a few seconds to find the positive, but now my brain kind of does it automatically. It's a habit you can definitely train yourself to have.
So, how do you learn to accept things you just *can't* change?
Well, at its core, it's about learning to accept death.
Death is the biggest thing, the most significant thing. Everyone dies. Choosing to face it, to acknowledge it, instead of running away from it, gives life so much meaning. We spend so much time trying to avoid death. So many of our goals are really just about trying to achieve some kind of immortality.
If you're religious, you might believe you'll be taken care of, that you don't have to worry about what happens after you die. If you're not religious, maybe you have kids, passing on your genes. If you're an artist or a writer, you want to leave behind your work. If you're a business person, you want a legacy.
But, here's the thing, and it's a tough one: we don't really *have* a legacy. Nothing really lasts. We're all gonna be gone, and our kids are gonna be gone. Our achievements will turn to dust. Human civilization will turn to dust. Our planet will turn to dust, and the solar system will turn to dust. On a cosmic scale, the universe has been around for, like, ten billion years, and it's gonna keep going for another ten billion.
Compared to that, you're like a firefly blinking in the night. Your life is *tiny*. And if you can truly grasp that everything you're doing is ultimately pointless, you can find this amazing sense of peace and happiness, because you realize that life is just a game. But it's a *fun* game. And the only thing that really matters is experiencing reality as it unfolds. So, why not interpret everything in the most positive way possible?
Those unhappy moments, the moments you're not enjoying your life, they don't do anyone any good. The universe isn't keeping score. Other people aren't going to be happier because you're miserable. Your time on this planet is so fleeting, so precious, you have to make the most of it. And that starts with facing death. Really facing it. Not denying it, not avoiding it. Because that's how you learn to accept the things you can't change, how you learn to live in the present moment.
Whenever I get caught up in my own internal struggles, I think about all the great civilizations that rose and then fell. Take the Sumerians, for example. I bet they had some important people, some great achievements. But can you name a single Sumerian? Can you think of anything interesting or important they did? Probably not.
So, maybe in ten thousand, a hundred thousand years, people will say, "Oh, the Americans. I've heard of the Americans."
We're all going to die. Everything goes away. So, enjoy your life. Contribute something positive to society. Spread love, happiness. Make people laugh. Cherish every moment. Find your purpose, do your best, and don't waste your time.